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Reverend BizarreIII: So Long Suckers (2CD) Spikefarm Records

As much as this is a true revelation of doom, it is also the final death gasp spraying blood all over the doomed world, for this is the end of the almighty Reverend Bizarre – in my opinion the very best classic doom band ever. This is where the diabolatry of Black Sabbath, Pentagram, Saint Vitus and Witchfinder General all come together.
And what a glorious ending! What a manifest of pure magick brilliance! This is meant to be worshipped now and forever, and I’m down on my knees already.
Christs may come and Christs may go, but Caesar is forever!

I was a bit disappointed with the II: Crush The Insects-album (2005). Too rockish, too childish, not enough war, not enough suffering, not enough natural selection…
Not enough doom.
When discovering this unholy trinity that is Reverend Bizarre I was almost lost for words. In The Rectory of The Bizarre Reverend (2002) still stands out as one of the most amazing doom records ever to have graced my stereo with its presence. This was the ultimate doom. And then came the one hour long Harbinger of Metal EP (2003). Now that was the ultimate doom.
Until now.

The light heavy weight metal on II: Crush The Insects is now forgotten (not the doom tracks on it, though…). I’m not saying it’s a bad album, but compared to what the Reverend is capable of, it sure was unsatisfactory.
However, listening to III: So Long Suckers (the title alone is just mindbending in its undoominess and fuck offy attitude!) for the first time I was immeditately hypnotized.
“So many great riffs, so little time…” – is that what they thought when finishing this album? It’s filled to the brim with beautiful, dark and ultra-heavy riffing, genius bass lines, masterful drumming that really comes alive, and the majestic vocals we’ve gotten used to, proclaiming the lyrics that are always somewhat reminiscent of the mighty Count Raven.
The song writing is jaw dropping (the two opening anthems are over 25 minutes long – each! – but still stunningly mesmerizing and purely magickal) and the production is by far their best ever – heavy, dark and crystal clear at the same time.

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I’ll let the music, lyrics and artwork speak for themselves, but whatever you do: if you’re into classic doom – do not miss out on this masterpiece!
This is 130 minutes of pure doom and socio-religious warfare.
All hail
Monsieur Earl of Void, Sir Albert Witchfinder and
Father Peter Vicar!

However, if you’re one of those stressed out individuals with no patience, then this is not for you. Doom never was. You need time and patience, some calm space and an open mind. Only then will you be able to start quiet riots and rituals of doom and destruction…

I’ll close this review with the opening words of the opening track They Used Dark Forces/Teutonic Witch:


You say that I am evil, but you don’t know where I have been

If you could see some of those places, I bet you would be worse than me

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